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MY PRACTICE: Paraphrasing

You can practise what you’ve learnt by working on these tasks. Some student paraphrases are also provided.

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Remember, these are only suggestions; there are many ways to rephrase these sentences.

You can talk to your instructor for other acceptable paraphrases.

Example 1

Original text:
“It is a central concept in thermodynamics of materials because all of the thermodynamic properties of a material at a given temperature and pressure can be obtained from knowledge of its chemical potential” [p. 520].

From: L.-Q.Chen, 2019. “Chemical potential and Gibbs free energy”, MRS Bulletin, vol. 44, no. 7, pp. 520-523, 2019.

Instructor's comment:
Overall, it is acceptable.
 
A suggestion:
An essential notion in material thermodynamics is the fact that material properties – given temperature and pressure -  can be straightforwardly derived.

Student's paraphrase:
The fact that a material’s thermodynamic properties at a specific temperature and pressure can be derived from knowledge of its chemical potential indicates that it is a key concept in material thermodynamics [1].

 

Example 2

Original text:
"Besides, the increasing and fluctuating fuel prices form another incentive to reduce fuel consumption and emissions as fuel cost can form a great share of operational costs" [p. 603].

From: S. Jafarzadeh and I. Utne, “A framework to bridge the energy efficiency gap in shipping,” Energy, vol. 69, pp. 603-612, 2014.

Student's paraphrase

The aforementioned, in conjunction with the upward trend in fuel prices, and the consequential increase of operating expenses, have brought the issue of fuel conservation and emissions reduction to the fore [1].

Instructor's comment:
Overall, it is acceptable.

 

Shortcomings:

It is not clear what “The aforementioned” here means [taken out of context this could be a problem for the reader].
 

A suggestion:

Recent upward trend in fuel prices and the (regulatory and competitive) push for efficiency have created strong incentives for firms to invest in emission control technology.

Example 3

Original text:
"Global-scale impact of nanoparticles should also be considered, as small particles have been shown to have atmospheric impact (cloud properties). Nanoparticulate oxides, such as TiO2, used to degrade pollutants and for disinfection (80-82), may have the potential to induce other organic transformations and impact photochemical reactions in the atmosphere" [p. 1405].

From: K. A. Dunphy Guzmán, M. R. Taylor, and J. F. Banfield, “Environmental risks of nanotechnology: National nanotechnology initiative funding, 2000− 2004”, Environ. Sci. Technol., vol. 40, no. 5, pp. 1401-1407, 2006.

Student's paraphrase

It is important to consider global-scale impact of nanoparticles because small particles were found to have atmospheric impact. TiOâ‚‚, which is an example of nanoparticulate oxides, used to reduce pollutants and for disinfection. This may be strong enough to reduce other organic transformations and bring photochemical reactions in the atmosphere [1].

Instructor's comment:
Overall, it is not acceptable.​

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Shortcomings:

The student tries to pack as much information as possible into one sentence. It is simply not needed.

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A suggestion:

Since nanoparticles have cloud-like properties, i.e. able to impact the atmosphere, it is important to consider their impact on a global scale.

Example 4

Original text:
"With this model, if a ship type, departure and destination ports and fixed ETA (Estimated Time Arrival) are given, the stakeholders can be provided with a more reasonable speed operation plan for a certain commercial route, which leads to lower fuel consumption" [p. 109].

From: T. Cui, B. Howett, M. Kim, R. Lu, Y. Demirel, O. Turan, S. Day, and A. Incecik, “Energy Efficient Ship Operation through Speed Optimisation in Various Weather Conditions,” in Trends and Challenges in Maritime Energy Management, A. Ölçer, M. Kitada, D. Dalaklis, and F. Ballini, Eds. Cham: Springer International Publishing, pp.199-211, 2018.

Student's paraphrase

The model was based on the grounds that an advanced operation plan, resulting in fuel economy, is feasible if factors, such as ship type, ports and Estimated Time Arrival (ETA) are specified [1].

Instructor's comment:
Overall, it is quite problematic.​

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Shortcomings:

The clause "...is feasible if factors...are specified" is confusing.

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A suggestion:

Given certain parameters, the model predicts quite accurately the speed of operation, leading to more efficient fuel consumption.

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